now playing: "take a walk"

The last REALLY LEGIT AWESOME music game I played was, sadly, not even Music Catch 2 (featured on here quite a few months ago). It was the Guitar-Hero-for-your-Facebook-fingers hit JamLegend, which for some unknown reason vanished instantly, without warning, many months/over a year ago and hasn't been around to make typing to music legitimately awesome. Most of the songs were indie hipster* hits, alternative remixes of classic melodies, game OSTs, or something in-between, but something about firing up the site for a few plays was always a good way to get me into zen mode. And then the site died, and I was made a very sad person for time immemorial... until I found the new REALLY LEGIT AWESOME music game that could fulfill my zen dreams once more. Take a Walk (Bloblob, 2010) features the indie hipster instrumentals that make me find my happy zen mode and, just like its adorable wide-eyed protagonist, make me want to slow down, throw my phone away, and find out who is really there for me.

Meander, gallivant, or stroll with the music, don't get hung up on obstacles in your path, and jump to hit those high notes!

The artistic integrity is maintained by arranging cutscenes as still-motion graphic novel panels.

Did you forget to do a barrel roll? The music stops and you'll have to rewind your steps all slo-mo-like.

Your little sketchbook man wanders from a cubicle into the cityscape and out into the country before coming to rest under a tree, where the first spot of color appears in the entire game, just before cutting to credits. (I swear I'll shut up with the consonance one of these days.) Walking continuously, without stopping of your own accord or by incorrectly timing your jump over a hurdle, earns you the companionship of passenger pigeons in addition to your score. The main benefit of getting more birds at your side is to unlock bonus and highly adorable animations separate from the game but entertaining to watch loop across your screen all the same. I don't really know if they are passenger pigeons, but it's a nice metaphor for what I deem to be the game's overall message:

1. Get up from your chair. Yes, yes you can. Just nudge yourself ever so gently out of that cushioned swivel seat until you have to lean on your toes and not your back for support.

2. Walk AWAY FROM TEH COMPY. Yes, this is possible. Hard to believe it for people like you and me who are smart enough to know that all the things we could ever want can be found in an LCD, but just trust me on this one. WALK. AWAY.

3. Locate your nearest exit to the environmental exterior of your location and remove yourself to that place. If you are already in the environmental exterior of your general location, close the laptop.

4. Do nothing.

The point is, going outside is a novelty to most industrialized, mechanicalized, digitalized people today, just as the now-extinct passenger pigeon is a stuffed curiosity in the Smithsonian. Take a Walk is literally a game about how pointless it is to stay sitting in front of that lifeless screen when there's so much world out there, already unlocked, just waiting for your appreciation.

And that's where I'm going to end this right here, right now.

*Yes, I'm perfectly aware that the phrase "indie hipster" is a redundancy. Yes, I'm perfectly aware that the phrase "indie hipster" is a redundancy.