now playing: "Adventures in Ponyville"

Fair warning in advance: I swear I was going to review a "real" game (which you'll get next week, no lie), but then Friday the 13th happened. Normally my Friday the 13ths are incredibly unmemorable and dull as the dickens, but let's just say that certain events from yesterday were enough to knock me into a funk when I woke up too early this morning. And when that happens, there are only a few things that can set the world right again. So I turned to cartoons.

"My little pony, my little pony, ah Ah AH AWWWWW...!"

It's official. I just got an epic case of brony fever and present to you, for your entertainment and delight, some most excellent My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic: Adventures in Ponyville!

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and all associated merchandise, including the game I am reviewing right now, is not suitable for all audiences, and should not be viewed by anyone who lacks kindness, generosity, honesty, laughter, loyalty, or who otherwise considers themselves a "brony-hater." If you fall into this category, stop reading right now and go amuse yourselves with some lovely winter goodness.

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Still here? Welcome bronies, or soon-to-be bronies! I won't get into the details of the whole Internet craze with this particular show here, but needless to say, if you're a fan you will most definitely fawn over this game, and if you're not... there still might be something for you, depending on how young your inner child still is and whether or not you enjoyed watching Powerpuff Girls.

Gah... her face... I can't... resist... RAINBOWS.

The game's goal is to more or less create the absolute perfection of your own My Little Pony avatar (sadly, there are no direct-click exporting or sharing options). While you can customize your own pony character to a certain extent, in order to unlock all the possible mane/tail/accessory parts, or change your Earth pony to a Pegasus or unicorn, or *lest I forget* obtain your very own cutie mark, you'll need to explore Ponyville, play games, and help out the cast of Friendship is Magic with their own personal problems. Customization parts are unlocked along the way as you gain points playing the mini-games: harvesting apples with Applejack, filling bakery orders with Pinkie Pie, or clearing the sky of stormy clouds with Rainbow Dash. Special actions within the mini-games, such as sharing a treat with Pinkie Pie when she looks hungry, earns you Friendship Sparkles and fills your overall game completion meter at the top of the screen.

Rarity's friends are jealous of her new saddle--how should she respond? You can suggest one of three  (drama-free) courses of action to earn more Friendship Sparkles in one or more category.

Admittedly, unlocking all accessories and earning your cutie mark is somewhat of a time-intensive process (especially an odd design choice given that the franchise is aimed at, well, people certainly younger than me), and with only four mini-games to choose from (including the point-and-click dialogue interactions with other ponies that earn Friendship Sparkles), you'll probably be dulled senseless after twenty minutes or so. Furthermore, as I learned the hard way, you must do SOMETHING to save your hard-earned progress if you intend to close the tab (some players report that you must sign up on the game's site, but others indicate that the cookies are sufficient). 

And yet, there's something about the limited mini-game selection and slow-and-steady avatar evolution that makes Adventures in Ponyville a true casual game: one that can amuse you for a stretch at a time and offer a nice change of pace. "Mini-games" are the essence of most video games designed for younger audiences, and I personally find something rather refreshing in that feature. Additionally, the playful but decidedly non-obnoxious background music and lack of voice acting, while undoubtedly removing some of the pleasure for native fans, is a smooth move for eliminating any potential annoyances (for players or others in the room) due to repetitive catchphrases or earworm tunes.

Yes, Adventures in Ponyville's core audience is nine-year-old females in affluent homes with cable television--but thanks to the Internet, some things cannot be undone now. Besides, most casual games I run into these days are either pure stupidity or pure philosophy, at least when it comes to how I review them. Either it's absurd (in theme) or amazing (in theme). Adventures in Ponyland is both absurd and amazing... which qualities cancel out the need for a lengthy dissertation of a review, and instead a simple show of praise for the lighthearted pleasure of a sweet mini-game collection...

Speaking of sweets, I want some of Pinkie Pie's cupcakes now...

The very unoriginally-named "Alex" shares secrets with Pinkie Pie... I think?